i am really a mom

I made a phone call today regarding "my son."  When I said it I couldn't help but feel amazed.  I have been dreaming about some one calling me mom for a long time.  Now I have this little life in my arms needing me for his every happiness.   I love being the fix to most of his problems.  Feeling needed like that is a special thing.  I cherish the time we have together when I am nursing him.  Maybe I don't love it every hour and a half through out the night...but when I sit there looking at his precious little cheeks and stiff legs, I can't help but love knowing there is nothing else in the world I need to be doing at that moment.  4 weeks ago today Nolan made his grand entrance into this world and our lives are so much sweeter.  I can't say I have gotten used to the lack of sleep but I am making it through.  On average I don't get out of bed until 10:30-11:00.  The days go fast when I only have to deal with the later half of them.  Now working up to more chores and more outings.  I still need to feel like I have accomplished something when the day is done...and keeping Nolan taken care of doesn't count for some reason (even though it's a lot of work).  I have been super spoiled with visitors and people wanting to help.  It really helps with my mood and my energy.  Knowing how loved Nolan is overwhelms Matt and I.  I know people are here mostly to see him...I am ok with that :)  He is worth the long drive to West Seattle.  So... a month into this and I am back in my normal jeans and drinking wine.  Starting to see a better version of myself when I look in the mirror...I see Alicia, "Nolan's Mom."